Your Life is Defined by Your Not Yet's

I'm a huge fan of the "not yet".

One of my best "not yet's" thus far.. blue hair happened soon after I left my corporate consulting gig in 2016.

One of my best "not yet's" thus far.. blue hair happened soon after I left my corporate consulting gig in 2016.

What does this mean, "not yet"? Well in my life, and I know in all of your lives, there are innumerable things that required a "not yet" (in fact anything we've ever done for the first time was first a "not yet"). As young women (& men), we still are largely in the "not yet" territory.. However, this "not yet" idea becomes increasingly important to understand and be familiar with and embrace as we "grow up". As we become older, we move past the stage where people expect us to be trying things for the first time and we move into a stage, whether right or wrong, where we and those around us start to form our identities based on what it is we do, who we know and what we are good at... RIGHT NOW. 

At its core, "not yet" is about embracing your true self. And your true self is an ever-evolving, always changing, always growing, always learning human being. And the sooner you recognize that you are always changing, the sooner you will be able to embrace Who You Are. Because who you were yesterday, who you will be tomorrow - those are both different things from who you are today. So what exactly is this "not yet"?

It gives you the permission to be a different person from literally the moment a question is asked to the moment the question is answered – YOU HAVE THAT MUCH POWER.

Well, let me start with an example. Before about a year-and-a-half ago, if somebody had asked me if I were an entrepreneur, I would have said no. At that point I had never started a business, I had never launched something that would earn me money independently, I had never done anything that would really qualify me as an entrepreneur. So if somebody asked me that I would say, "No, I’m not", and I wouldn’t have been lying. That would have been a representation of the truth in that moment. However, me saying no to that question created an imprint in my mind that reinforced that answer to me about my identity, my ability and frankly not only who I was in that moment, but also who I would be in the future. Answering "no" would have created a boundary on my own life, present and future. And who was building that boundary? Me. 

This game of life is not about being perfect. It’s about learning. SO what I have learned is that answering a question like that with "no" isn’t serving me, and it’s NOT REALLY SERVING ANYONE. If I had answered that question with "not yet".. how would that have changed me? How would that have changed my understanding of myself? And how would that have changed the other person’s understanding of me and my ambition, potential and identity? Just by changing a few words. Just by using that phrase ‘not yet’. I took power back for myself. Not that somebody else had taken that power away from me, I just had yet to claim it for my own. 

My roomie Kendra and myself at the framing stage - feeling damn powerful.

My roomie Kendra and myself at the framing stage - feeling damn powerful.

Another very recent example - just this week I conquered a huge "not yet". 6 months ago if you had asked me, “Do you know how to finish a basement?” I would have said, "No. Heck no! Why would I know how to finish a basement, why would I ever want to learn how to finish a basement?" And you know what that answer should have been… "not yet" because as of today I have successfully finished a basement. My roommate and I - side note: shoutout to my roommate Kendra – she’s amazing, she’s a young engineer – I’m so excited for her and her career. So blessed that she happened to answer my craigslist ad and became my first roommate in my house that I bought last spring - anyways, so together, the two of us, two women, not that it matters, finished my basement (a first for both of us). And so, the more accurate answer to that question would have been "not yet". Because I was going to and have and maybe in the future will again – finish a basement.

Essentially what this "not yet" does is it gives you the power to determine your future. It also gives you the permission to be a different person from literally the second a question is asked to the moment the question is answered – YOU HAVE THAT MUCH POWER. You have the power to decide who you are, what you do, what you know, what defines you, what doesn’t define you. Every single minute of your life you are not bound to who you were you are not bound to what you did you are not bound to what you said – yes we take responsibility for our lives and for our actions and we all have an immense responsibility just by being born on this planet Earth. But we also have immense power of self determination. And the person who loses when we don’t realize that is ourselves. We lose the most. And we also stand the most to gain when we take that power back.

So let me ask you – what are your "not yet’s"? What questions would you LOVE to answer "not yet" to? What ways do you want to grow, do you know that you’ll grow? What would it feel like to give yourself permission to be in new ways, work in new ways, love in new ways, create change in new ways? What are your "not yet’s"?

I can’t wait to see all that is to be done, created, changed, loved. And all the power that is yet to be uncovered. I’m so blessed to walk along this path of "not yet’s" and "will be’s" with you.

Blessings on your path,


P.S. Idk if its the rebel in me or what - the free "sassy" download is written in question format so you can shout back your own "not yet's" to whoever you envision your doubters to me.. I hope you love it as much as I do! <3

And if you want to continue this conversation with me in the hot seat (i.e. as your personal coach).. click here.  

Julia Starr2 Comments